somewhere between flying and falling flat on my face. either way, i’m glad i jumped. i was growing rather bored just sitting there.
4
4
proofreading between the lines.
it’s a small step but a giant leap from observation to obsession. the moment your thoughts pass analytic and border on anxiety. you either feel like you’ve figured something out, or that you’ve made everything up. like you’re seeing what others can’t see, or you’re noticing what’s not even there. interpreting signs from above or putting words into the universe’s mouth.
the good news is, you’re able to sharpen your thoughts during it all. to give yourself a mental slap on the wrist the second you hit the edge. to avoid the potential fall from attempting that jump to conclusions beyond your reach.
you learn to treat your thoughts as just what they are - outside of control, thus losing the urge to supervise them. to oversee their potential.
it is what it is. except for when it isn’t. so how do you learn the difference?
5
| 2001: | do these jeans make my ass look fat? |
|---|---|
| 2011: | do these jeans make my ass look flat? |
7
to-do:
eat- cash check
designre-upquickie
Taking Back Sunday: A Tale of Nudity & Lazy Liberation
Lately, I’ve been feeling so blocked. Like my mental drain was clogged. So I made a pact with myself to not do any real work this Sunday. That means no business emails, calls, texts, proposals, blogging, coding, programming, billing… nada.
I also lifted the societal pressure I put on myself to do something extraordinary before Monday hits again. So no invitations, no Yelp’ing, no Google Map’ing, no Doing Over.
To prevent temptation from any of my old tricks, I also honored some sort of invisible ban on marijuana, wine, alcohol, even music. Any of my usual head trips and distractions were kept politely out of reach.
So, what did I end up doing? I spent hours & hours in the nude, feet up in front of the fan. Reading & researching. Studying life and the internet as we know it. Completely natural minus the chipped Barbie-pink nail polish on my fingers & toes. Talk about fucking liberation. :)
Blackberry & iPad (with all their alerts) nowhere in sight…I read a few chapters from a book on African-American sociology & psychology. I set up some Sparks on Google+ in got lost in them for a while. Mainly on entrepreneurship, Harry Potter, advertising and self-actualization. I did some research on my muse Necole Bitchie, trying to figure out why people throw so much shade (All I came up with is: she’s pretty, popular and paid. Throw business-savvy in there and she’s pretty much an open target for shade). I actually paid attention to people as people, and not just creators of content for blog posts, tweets, posts, etc. Found some shit to laugh at. Saved some photos for inspiration. Learned some new things.
But the most valuable part, for me, was letting hours and hours go by naturally without feeling like I wasted one second. No agendas. No to-do’s. No incoming links. No outgoing feedback. No interruptions. No guilt. No shade.
If I can do this at least once a week, I’ll have found my way back to heaven. Until then, I’ll enjoy these last few bits of freedom before the boy gets home - with or without clothing. We’ll see…
Thomas Edison…
As a cure for worrying, work is far better than whiskey. I always found that, if I began to worry, the best thing I could do was focus upon doing something useful and then work very hard at it. Soon, I would forget what was troubling me.
1
| Amber: | Oh, WOW. Angela! Oh, Rayanne talks about her all the time. She's in love with her! She wants to be Angela. |
|---|---|
| Patty: | Really! Gosh, they seem so different. |
| Amber: | Oh, you know kids. They find one person and they just can't get enough of them! It's like being in love, only they're not allowed to have sex. |
| Patty: | Riiiight. |
| Amber: | No, don't you remember? There'd be, like, this one person, who had, like, perfect hair, or perfect breasts, or they were just so funny, and you just wanted to eat them up -- just live in their bed, and just be them. It's like everybody else was in black and white, and that person was in color. Well, Rayanne thinks Angela is in color. Major color. |
8
(via elayewoman)
| D: | "Look clearly at your life and commit to letting go of whatever is holding you back including toxic habits, emotions, and relationships." - Deepak Chopra |
|---|---|
| M: | Why do they always make it seem so easy? If I did that, I'd have nothing to look forward to. I say let go of whatever is holding you back from being awesome. |
| D: | Like toxic habits, emotions and relationships? |
| M: | No, like bullshit canned advice from mega-positive ego-fuckers who make a living out of telling people how to live their lives in unattainable perfection. |
his & hers.
“the most beautiful thing about him was the fact that he couldn’t care less about societal pressure. he went on living his life, saying what he wanted, wearing what he wanted, doing what he wanted, and not caring about what offense others took to his decisions. not out of rebellion, but oblivion.
the most beautiful thing about her was the complete opposite. her insecurity. her nervousness. the way she constantly searched for loose hairs to be tucked away. the awkwardness that offset a face that would otherwise intimidate. her desire to be anything but gorgeous, made her exactly that. not out of plainness, but politeness.
separately, they were natural disasters. together? a divine blessing.”
