| Girl by Pool: | You're very pretty. You should smile more often. |
|---|---|
| Me: | (blushing) Thank you. I try, but I'm always thinking... |
| GBP: | I can tell. It shows. (smiles) And it makes you look paranoid, nervous, insecure... |
| Me: | I know, I know. |
| GBP: | Besides, look at where you are. You're by the pool, surrounded by palm trees and sunshine. People would kill to be where you are right now. You shouldn't be thinking. You should be enjoying this. You are exactly where you are supposed to be right now. You were put here. |
| Me: | Wow, you're right. |
| GBP: | Don't think -- feel. Better yet, think with your heart. Don't use your brain, it's always f*cked up anyway. |
Why do I sense some sadness in you? It’s that deep.
Text from a random, yet handsome, gentleman, seconds after tears started rolling down my face. I’m in front of my computer. His location is unknown. How did he know?
We met the other day at a clothing store. I was staring at a pink & grey striped shirt that I liked, but not enough to purchase. I picked up another grey dress and fell in love with it when he walked up and started flirting with me, albeit politely.
He offered to buy me the dress. I paused and was about to decline, then something told me to say yes. Take a chance. Let someone spoil you, for once. Stop being so cautious. Live a little.
I handed him the dress and he asked me what else I wanted. I hesitated before reaching out for the pink & grey shirt and handing it to him. We proceeded to the check out where he paid for his socks and my two items, before showing me pictures of his two beautiful daughters (His wife died a year ago, from cancer).
We parted ways. Him, to his taxi. Me, to my ride. Numbers and blessings were exchanged. And then, that text.
I stopped believing in coincidences a long time ago. I’m convinced he’s an angel.
Either that, or we were married in our past lives. It’s nice to think things like that, no? Even nicer when the Universe picks up your emotions and sends you love in the most random ways.
2 weeks ago - 
1
1
L.I.T.: for you.
1 month ago -I never understood people who leaped from relationship to relationship. The love they denied themselves and therein all those suffering hearts that had to face the reality of walking voids. And yet, I understand it all too well. I can’t seem to put my finger on what I’m waiting for, all these visions dancing on the walls in my bedroom. The people we couldn’t allow to love us. The boys I could never save; the gift of giving I was always trying to give. When you impart some one with an act of kindness, with a passionate kiss, a careful touch of skin, the catastrophic firework of two people thrusting, when you offer consoling words, or deep diaphragm laughter, when you give a stranger a smile—you are thanking the universe for love. You are fueling the world with a context for how to receive and give love. Your words are not to be taken lightly nor ever too seriously, because they speak reality into existence. It is our imaginations that will save us from ourselves. It is the ability to gravitate towards the goodness inside you. It took me years to be this woman and time is of no relevance. Its what you do with time that transforms seconds to minutes, minutes to hours, and hours to days so on and so on.
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Working toward the freedom to spend a day on the beach with a book not worrying about my next paycheck and where it’s coming from.
Money is my means, not my end.
Once I figure out what it means, all my problems seem to end.
“They say money changes you, but it doesn’t change you.
It just makes you more of what you already are.”
amen
thepast24hourshaverenderedobsoleteveryworryiveeverhadaboutmylife. allyouhavetodoisgetupintheAMknowwhereyouwanttogothengetthefuckup&go. societyisanillusiona&theegoneverneedstobeincontrol.followyourspiritforonce. mymindraces1000milespersecond&nobodyneedstokeepupwiththisshit.
exceptmemyselfandgodandevenstillheprobablyhasshittodo.
sothemoralofthestoryisstfuandliveorcomplainyourselfintoaslowdeath.
sorrytobesomorbidandallovertheplace.
justmythoughts.
asyouwere.
p.s. i’m not sorry. i was just being polite. :)
weird [weerd]
ADJECTIVE
1. odd: strange or unusual
2. supernatural: belonging to or suggesting the supernatural
3. of fate: relating to or influenced by fate ( archaic )
[ Old English wyrd “fate” < Indo-European, “turn” ]
weird·ly ADVERB
weird·ness NOUN
6
there’s a profound beauty in self-chosen isolation & pure satisfaction in self-induced silence. a relief from trying to think of the right things to say, do, think or wear for whatever given situation. it gives you this mary tyler moore feeling when you step outside that makes you want to say hello to the sun before speaking to whatever stranger has occupied your given space at the moment.
i find myself doing weird shit lately like speaking my desires into the air and feeling a sense of comfort when a breeze wraps itself around me in response. guess i’m on my pocahontas shit. other than friendly smile and polite convo, i don’t really have much for you right now.
it’s not that i’ve given up on society. nor do i sense it’s given up on me. there are just a million thoughts in my head that i’d rather not waste on conversation. i’m saving them for something universal. something meaningful. something worth keeping quiet about.
for now, i’ll settle for being that spaced-out chick overdosing on positivity & spirituality who nobody bothers because she won’t drink/smoke/fuck with them. at least for the time being. at least until i’m done reshaping the (my) world.
You should see what’s going on in my head
disclaimer: wear sunglasses & pop an advil.
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May your neighbors respect you
Trouble neglect you, angels protect you
And heaven accept you..
Drake (via vintage-couture)
(via kisskissbangbangshootem)
back to la.
back to life.
back to reality.
& strangely,
back to fantasy.
this life, forever.
one day at a time.
15
xo
i’m so, so happy i met you.
you’ve changed my life.
